Dehydrants-Diuretics-Depressants

I heard the funniest line of 2007 Thursday night. Not surprisingly, it came from a colleague in the wine industry, someone who also seems to find her day scheduled around beverages.

In an attempt at wit, when saying goodbye, knowing we needed to re-connect again soon, I said, “I look forward to scheduling a beverage with you.”

“Dehyrdrant, Diuretic, or Depressant?” she asked.

I howled with laughter at her epithet- namely, due to its blatant truth. I reflected that I nurse my “bucket of Bodum” loose-leaf green tea (that on the “toasted” vs. “herbal” side, my preference of late) ritualistically each morning, moving into good old fashioned H₂0 on the days that I work out in the am vs. evening; then move back to the remains of the green antioxidants until 11:30am or so, at which point I move into iced tea for lunch. I usually elect to give my kidneys a bit of an afternoon reprieve, swapping water for tea, unless I schedule a late-afternoon meeting with a non-wine industry contact wherein Earl Gray with milk is a must. If industry meeting anytime after 3 pm, it usually involves wine, invoking the “its 5 o’clock somewhere” maxim.

On the detox days, which I strive to make 3-4 days of the week (yes, really), I move from the final caffeination into water for the rest of the day, turning off the tap till the following morning. If it’s a wine night, we usually pop corks between 6:30 or 8 in our house, have a glass and a half each, saving the second half of the bottle for day two.

Dehydrants to diuretics to depressants it seems to be not just a catch phrase- but a way of living. (Alyssa Rapp, Founder & CEO, Bottlenotes, Inc.)